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Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology Cute Whimsey

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

Passion rules reason.
- Terry Goodkind

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

The man who can't dance thinks the band is no good.
- Polish Proverb

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

We only see what we want to see,
and hear what we want to hear
- don Miguel Ruiz

One never notices what has been done;
one can only see what remains to be done.
- Marie Curie

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung

Don't part with your illusions.
When they are gone you may still exist,
but you have ceased to live.
- Mark Twain

We are born princes, and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
- Publilius Syrus

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

Thinking isn't agreeing or disagreeing. That's voting.
- Robert Frost

Life - for most people - is their past projected large
onto the movie screen of their future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain

Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

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Today is Your Day to Dance Lightly with Life.  It Really Is.
      - Jonathan Lockwood Huie